I feel alone.
I'm so alone.
I feel forsaken.
For once, I would just like to have the privilege of being weak
I would like permission to need help
I don't want to do everything on my own anymore
I don't want to have to be so independent and strong
Why don't I have parents that can take care of me?
Is my only hope, to be something attractive enough to make a man fall in love with me and want to provide for me all I could ever need??
Cause I sure DO NOT like the sound of that...
Maybe that's why I feel like I must be so strong.
I don't trust guys... courtesy of a father who abandoned me-- and my family for that matter
Who needs a guy when I can do it all by myself...
just me.
all alone.
I know how ungrateful I sound right now
but for now, I'd like permission to not give a damn about it.
Please allow me to be angry.
allow me to be hurting.
allow me to cry out in frustration at this situation I am in
God I wish I had faith like that little woman... she was in pain for so long.. but she knew.. all she needed was just to touch His cloak... I'm so afraid to trust.
I can't even cry out to the people who claim to care
because they don't have words of comfort for me.
there is no room for sympathy for me
and perhaps they are right.
i am thinking such terrible thoughts
what do i have to complain about when i have food, clothing, water, shelter...
and a cell phone, internet, cable, air conditioning...
God I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm just weak.
forgive me in my weakness!
I just need You.
I guess... in times like these, I should turn to You all the more.
Lord don't leave me. Please don't leave me.
